As a couple’s therapist, I often remind clients that good communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship. When couples struggle to connect, it’s rarely about the topic of the argument- it’s about how they communicate. Learning to stay present, choose your words carefully, and remain calm can transform the way partners relate to one another.
Stay Present in the Moment
The most powerful way to improve communication is to be fully present. That means listening without interrupting or planning your response. When you focus on truly understanding your partner’s feelings, you send the message that their experience matters. Even a few seconds of mindful attention can turn tension into connection.
Choose Your Words Carefully
Healthy couples’ communication involves speaking with care and intention. Before reacting, pause and ask yourself: “Will this comment bring us closer or push us apart?” Choosing gentle, thoughtful words helps reduce defensiveness and invites collaboration instead of conflict.
Remain Calm and Centered
During moments of stress, staying calm can be difficult- but it’s essential to remember to remain relational. When you take a breath, soften your tone, or slow the pace of a heated conversation, you create emotional safety. Calm communication helps both partners feel respected and understood, even in a disagreement.
The Power of Respectful Communication
Improving communication in relationships isn’t about being perfect- it’s about being aware. When you stay present, centered, and intentional with your words, you create space for emotional intimacy. Over time, these small moments of mindfulness can strengthen your relationship and deepen your connection.
If you’d like support in learning how to communicate better with your partner; couple’s counseling can be a helpful space to practice these skills together. Jodi Lerner is a licensed psychotherapist in Utah and New York. In person sessions are available in Salt Lake City, Utah. Online sessions are available outside of Salt Lake City, for those residing in New York state.
